Being a therapist for moms, I see such a great need for moms to be able to share how they feel without judgment. There is so much pressure on moms these days. The pressure to be able to do it all while looking perfect and loving every minute of it. Let’s get real, that’s just not possible and loving every minute is a myth. Between appointments, driving kids around, school, emotional outbursts, managing relationships with our partners and friends, work, emotional labor, and everything else, moms have too much on their plate. All of this is why therapy for moms needs to be a priority.
I hear all the time from moms, “I wish I could quiet the noise.”
This might be literal, or it might be the noise in your head. It’s not easy to “quiet the noise” or you would do it on your own. Therapy can help with strategies to calm the nervous system and feel more grounded in order to deal with the internal and external noise. There is no one size fits all answer.
I also hear “I don’t have enough time.’
Who does? That’s usually one of the problems. Moms are great at prioritizing others and not so good at prioritizing themselves. When I ask moms what they do for themselves, I often get a little laugh. But seriously, how can you pour from an empty cup? So many moms have given up what used to bring them joy to take care of everyone else. As far as we’ve come, most of the division of labor still falls on moms. This doesn’t leave a lot of space for reclaiming fun that is ours. I love my kid, but I’m not interested in watching her play Minecraft. Many moms don’t even know what brings them joy. This is part of a rediscovering process that therapy might help with. Making time for therapy is part of self-care.
We’re in a time of great anxiety for moms.
Whether you are a new mom or a the mom of a teenager, with different stages come different worries. It’s easy for our minds to wonder. We want what’s best for our kids and we want them to feel the safe in the world. Having supportive people to talk with about this, especially other moms, is so important. Sometimes you need a different perspective than what your friends can offer which is why therapy can be so helpful.
We don’t want to feel like we’re failing all the time.
There is no such thing as perfection. We need to reevaluate our expectations. We’ve been fed the myth that we can have it all and be great in everything we do. Social media perpetuates this. Since it’s impossible to be perfect, maybe we need to reframe that we’d like to be more mindful in each area of our lives. Striving to be more present may feel more attainable than striving to be perfect. We’re going to mess up. That’s inevitable. How we repair after we mess up is what’s important.
Setting boundaries can be hard.
We need both time boundaries and boundaries around relationships. We can’t be everything to everybody. People treat us the way we teach them they can. Maybe you can’t take work calls in the evening. Maybe there’s no time to volunteer for the thing that will help your child’s school, sports team, etc. Maybe there are some parts of our relationships that need reevaluating to feel more supported. It’s hard but setting boundaries and reevaluating expectations is necessary for our mental health. Figuring out what boundaries to set and how to maintain them can be an integral part of the therapy process.
You are not alone.
Many moms struggle with the same things as you. One of the things I love about teaching Parent and Me groups is seeing new parents with shared experiences, validating, and supporting one another. We all need to feel supported. It’s so important to reach out to someone who can understand your experience. When we reach out, it helps us from going into feelings of loneliness and isolation. Let’s normalize therapy for moms. Know that you are not alone.
If you’re a mom needing some extra support, please contact me for a free brief consultation.
Please note that this article is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice from a doctor or mental health professional.